Ladies and gentlemen,
In the name of promoting religious tolerance and in the spirit of demonstrating that the recent developments with the Ground Zero Muslim community center can cut both ways, I'm proposing that we band together to fund a Christian Community Center of Lepanto in downtown Mecca! Now, a few words of caution: foreigners are forbidden to own property in Mecca or Medina, so we'll need to find some native sponsors interested in demonstrating a commitment to tolerance and a mutual peace between Christianity and Islam, and what better way than for some benevolent Saudi to sponsor our land and construction in downtown Mecca by affixing his name to the deed? Also, we'll need to raise at least $8 million, because in my research, I found that foreign investors purchasing land for construction had to erect buildings worth at least SAR30 million, which comes out to just under $8 million USD.
So, to recap: we need a Saudi national to agree to sponsor our construction in downtown Mecca, preferably with a couple of hundred feet of the Kaaba, just to make it spatially proximate enough to signify the true peace and tolerance of Islam. After all, we're all People of the Book, right? That's right. I'm proposing that we name the center the Christian Community Center of Lepanto, after the naval battle which dashed the Muslim hope of subjugating all of Europe all those centuries ago. Culturally speaking, many of us likely consider that an apex of Western cultural achievement, given that we were able to preserve the West from the encroachment of Muslim aggression. However, let's not dwell on that, okay? Let's focus on moving forward while also paying homage to our past.
Here's hoping we can enjoy our coexistence together and share the world in peace, while celebrating the rich shared histories of our respective faiths. After all, we've got plenty to bond over: Catholics and Muslims alike have sanctioned pogroms and mass executions of Jews, and I'm sure that shared Anti-Semitism will give rise to some bonhomie somehow! The Jews might have a problem with it, but we'll have an interfaith day or something where they can come over and share a halal meal. I vote for lamb kebobs and couscous! And what an opportunity this will be for Christians of various sects to visit Mecca and stare out from our lovely courtyard at the Kaaba that they are forbidden to enter, just a few hundred yards away at most! Perhaps we could petition the authorities to allow us to build a walking track where we can circumambulate clockwise around the Kaaba so as not to breach etiquette. I think this could be a wonderful opportunity for our societies to demonstrate a renewed commitment to understanding, tolerance, and coexistence!