Barack Obama, the great biracial hope, hasn't brought much in the way of change to Washington, D.C. Then again, he probably never intended to do so. His ascendancy was paved by the gold-gilded palms laid down in his path by Goldman Sachs and UBS as he rode that ass otherwise known as John McCain into our governmental Jerusalem. The barking and yapping bitch who nipped at John's heels was Sarah Palin, who did more to build her brand than she did to bolster McCain's non-existent electoral hopes. John has slain his thousands, and Sarah has slain her ten thousands...
What we have to point after nearly three years of Obama is simple enough to comprehend: hypothetical accomplishments. After $23 trillion backdoor bailouts, interest free loans, and front door bailouts, our banks are still insolvent but have benefited mightily from relaxed accounting requirements that enable banks to evade reporting their bad debts. As a result, they report quarterly profits using Enron-style accounting. However, the hypothetical accomplishment is this: they would have been liquidated had St. Barack not taken decisive action to legalize fraudulent accounting through his regulatory agencies. What a tragedy that would have been.
We have 20% real unemployment in this country, another ten million homes at risk of foreclosure, and those homes that have been foreclosed on and sold to new owners do not have clear title because the banks that foreclosed on those homes often didn't have clear title to the properties in question. But it would have been much worse had St. Barack not intervened to prevent us from lapsing into a Great Depression.
The cost of gasoline and basic food staples like milk has doubled over the course of Obama's presidency, as speculators who will never take end delivery of the commodities in question are allowed to gamble on price in the futures markets. How this is a legitimate use of our futures markets is something that no one has been able to explain to me, but I understand that had Barack not allowed this to take place, the prices might have quadrupled.
We are in a Great Depression. In case you haven't noticed, the people of North Africa revolted when it became apparent that their leaders couldn't provide affordable access to food or any remedy for the endemic unemployment that plagued them for decades and spiked noticeably over the past three years. We sent trillions of dollars abroad to other banks, who then gave that money to commodities traders who managed to take advantage of seasonal weather events affecting grain crops and yields to drive the price of food to exorbitant levels. While our real inflation in at almost 9%, the fact of the matter is that it would be much higher had St. Barack and his cronies not intervened to send our doubled base monetary supply abroad to drive up prices in developing nations. We financed gambles that put people in Tunisia and Egypt in such desperate straits that they were willing to set themselves on fire to make a statement.
The eurozone has collapsed. It is over. It didn't have to be over, because Italy has a fine amount of money saved that could be accessed to deal with their debt to GDP ratio, but that wasn't the goal. The goal of those who have manufactured the sovereign debt crisis was to drive yields on sovereign bonds to unaffordable levels, in order to dictate political change and ride roughshod over the sovereign democratic voice of people in Greece and Italy. Since those nations no longer have their own currency, they cannot readjust said currency to account for changing realities.
In the early part of the 20th century, a bank collapse in Austria led to the bleeding of reserves held by Austrian banks in Germany, which in turn collapsed the German banking system as liquidity fled from Germany to Austria. Make no mistake about it, the Germans and the French are not immune to the same phenomenon today. The entire banking system is interconnected, and a bank failure in one nation will lead to the banks of that nation calling their reserves home from other nations. It is a domino effect waiting to happen.
But it would be much worse if St. Barack and his cohorts St. Nicholas of Paris and St. Angela of Munich were not there to assuage our concerns by collapsing two intransigent governments in Italy and Greece over the last two weeks. Those governments are now headed by banking insiders, and isn't that what we need to manage our way out of this economic crisis? More of the expertise and cronyism that got us into this intractable mess?
There are oft quoted statistics on reserves of cash held by companies and banks, but those statistics only tell a portion of the story. Banks are getting paid by the Federal Reserve in excess of the short-term interest rate on Treasuries to park their excess reserves at regional Feds all over the country. They have nearly $2 trillion in excess reserves parked and drawing interest, and it is this interest that also adds to the notion that banks are doing better, because banks are making around $4 trillion annually for simply parking their excess reserves with the Fed. The Fed has no money of its own; it merely devalues your money to pay interest on the bank's money. It is yet another bailout, yet even with that bailout, the banks are still insolvent.
The financial instruments of mass destruction known as derivatives are only increasing in size and amount. We now have $1.5 quadrillion worth of these instruments in circulation. To give you perspective, that is 1,500 trillion dollars, or over 13 times the size of the world's GDP. But it would have been much worse without the sage intervention of St. Barack and his annointed Legion of Brilliance, who have staved out complete and total collapse by allowing banks to lie on their financials and giving them free money for their excess reserves. You can throw gobs of cash at this problem, but it won't amount to any goddamned thing in the end. Only by declaring derivatives moot can you address the issue in a sane manner, but our leadership is too feckless to be bothered with things like facing reality. No, they want to prolong the system that gave us this misery and social unrest because that system, with its epic bailouts and corruption, is the capitalist system, and we all know that capitalism is the basis of our prosperity.
Nevermind that bailouts by governments, subsidies on activity, and governments picking and choosing winners in the marketplace are antithetical to capitalism. It could be worse, if not for St. Barry. And don't you worry, because if St. Barry falters, his replacements are in the wings waiting. We have Mitt Romney, whose Romneycare hasn't done a damned thing to contain exploding costs on healthcare in Massachussetts. We have Jon Huntsman, who looks good in pancake #9 under bright lights and whose last budget exploded the level of government spending in Utah.
We have Ron Paul, whose suggested reforms can only be accomplished by the very thing he decries when exercised by the Federal Reserve in monetary policy: fiat. If you think Ron can get his agenda through two chambers of Congress, you're dreaming. You have Herman Cain, who sidestepped allegations of sexual assault largely because his accuser was dumb enough to choose Gloria Allred as her counsel. His 9-9-9 plan was drawn up by "distinguished economists," later revealed to be Rich Lowrie, a man whose genius might best be summed up by the fact that he would more than double your sales taxes in his proposed plan.
We have Newt Gingrich, who won't just screw an intern or aide while in office, he'll leave his wife and convert to the faith of his intern or aide in order to marry her. He's smart because he has a Ph.D in economics, and Ph.D's in economics are smart. Never you mind that a economics Ph.Ds managed to articulate a path forward that imploded our global economy in the form of Darwinian deregulation whereby fraud was supposed to addressed by market forces, until it wasn't and the government stepped in with trillions of dollars in no- or low-interest loans and outright giveaways. Tautologies don't work anymore, Newt.
Newt, like Rick Santorum, wants us to stay the course in Afghanistan and elsewhere. Does it strike anyone as absurd that we have expended more money to fight an enemy that lives in caves than we expended to defeat Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, and Imperial Japan in multiple theaters? Those nations actually had armies and navies and air forces, but we've had to spend more money to defeat a bunch of turbaned guys with assault rifles and roadside bombs. Wait. We haven't defeated them.
Perhaps it isn't the money that you spend; it's how you spend the money. We didn't try to rebuild Europe until after the Nazis and the Italians and the Japanese were vanquished. Yet we did exactly this in Afghanistan and Iraq; and, predictably enough, we didn't get that good of a result. But it would have been much worse had we not had the wunderkind from Texas by way of Kennebunkport to lead us towards a democratic Middle East, followed by the Great Biracial Hope of Hawaii and Kenya by way of Illinois machine politics.
No, it could be worse. In 2012, we could have a woman whose sole function appears to be that of a beard for her flamboyantly homophobic husband, who runs gay conversion therapy at his clinic. Worked for him...
Michelle Bachmann is a harpy, a shrill, virulent little Chihuaha with a brittle ego and a bristling sense of entitlement to equal coverage by CBS.
This is two party politics. It doesn't work. It isn't going to work in the future. If you want to rid yourself of it, you're going to have to mount a long-term effort to destroy it completely and utterly, because the partisans thereof conflate the success of their party with the long-term interests of this country despite the fact that the results of their conflation clearly and unmistakably attest to how utterly wrong they have been. Financial deregulation took place under Bill Clinton, folks. That was his baby, and he could have aborted it and saved us from the current crisis, but he signed Gramm Leach Bliley and the Commodities Futures Modernization Act into law.
Today, our government is so dysfunctional, and its results so terrible, that the only defense it can mount of its record is to point to something that might have happened. What it cannot do is point to anything of note that did happen to correct this crisis and restore some sense of normalcy to our economy.