I grew up in an archconservative household. My dad was a fundamentalist Southern Baptist; so fundamentalist, in fact, that he would have fit in better as an Independent Baptist. My dad endorsed public stonings for gays, and the one book other than the Bible he bought me was Rush Limbaugh's The Way Things Ought to Be. We grew up with VHS recorded tapes of This Week with David Brinkley, where the only acceptable opinion expressed on the show came out of the mouth of the Oracle himself, George Will.
We were in church as many days out of the week as a church in Mobile County was open. On Sundays and Wednesdays, that meant we were at our home church; the rest of the time, it meant that we were at any local Southern Baptist church that happened to have a revival going on that week. My dad was the type of guy who made sure that his family didn't have a television until I was in the seventh grade. He was the guy who didn't allow us to read books that weren't from a Christian perspective.
We grew up with Ronald Reagan, Bob Larson, Tim LaHaye, Ron Dunn, and other guys who passed the smell test of my dad's rabid conservativism and fundamentalist Christianity. My dad believed people who spoke in tongues were demon-possessed, and he brooked no compromise with anyone over anything. Taxes were to be low, children were to obey, and government was supposed to mind its own damn business.
I know what a Republican is. I know what a real Republican is. There was never any question about what a real Republican did when I was coming up. A real Republican stood firm on the issue of abortion, always coming down on the pro-life side. A real Republican stood for traditional values and abhorred any attempt by government to interfere in the practice of those values. When I say traditional values, I mean that a real Republican didn't buy any nonsense about women being equal to men, or gays being allowed to be gay without risking jail time or capital punishment, or the government telling gays they could marry or adopt children.
Real Republican men went to pancake breakfasts and Wednesday night fellowship suppers, prayed all the time and before every meal and even a few Dr. Peppers, kept their yards mowed, did chores around town on Saturdays, and beat the hell out of their kids for back-talking adults in any way, shape, fashion, or form. Real Republican men bought their atheist sons a Survival Kit and made them study the Bible every morning before school regardless of the fact that their sons were atheists. They also routinely threatened those sons with the wrath of Almighty God.
I know this, because I lived it. Real Republican men felt that blowjobs were for sissy men with limp wrists and men who frequented prostitutes and other types of loose women. They did not require their wives to put the same mouths they kissed their sons and daughters with over their penises. I know this, because my real Republican dad articulated that sentiment to me during the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal, and it was at that moment that I realized I could never be a real Republican man.
When real Republican men saw a RINO like George H.W. Bush, they sneered. They looked at the alternative in a commonsense talking guy like H. Ross Perot, and they signed on as his supporters instead. George H.W. Bush, you see, was pro-choice before he was pro-life, a real flip-flopper, and he loved anti-Republican organizations like the United Nations and the one world government such organizations were trying to usher in so that the Antichrist could destroy America.
Now, I grew up to cast my first vote in 1996 for Bob Dole. Bob Dole was a war hero, a man with an impeccable record and a questionable inner ear, and Bill Clinton was a perjuring, adulterous, lying sack of shit with a propensity for strippers and fat interns. He may have even sold military technology to China for campaign donations. There were penises on the White House Christmas tree, and Tipper Gore punched Hillary Clinton's lights out over that sacrilege.
I know what a Republican is, and I know what a Republican is not.
When Bob Dole's number came up, he went to war and gave up his hand for his country. For the rest of his life, he'd be stuffing that pencil in that hand, talking about himself in the third person in a gravelly voice, because Bob Dole didn't pull the whole college deferment card when his number came up in the draft. He didn't go get in the reserves or go AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard.
Bob Dole went to war, because real Republican men go to war when they're called upon to go to war. George H.W. Bush went to war, too, but he was called Rubbers because he supported family planning, and God plans families, not you and your wife. My mom had my sisters eleven months apart out of submission to God's will, but when she had to be cut open to deliver my bowling ball of a brother via a C-section, she took it as a sign from God. The uterine cancer that resulted in a hysterectomy was just the cherry on top of the sign.
When a real Republican man says something, he means it, and he follows through. Read my lips, no new taxes means no new taxes. American jobs stay in America, and we don't let Mexico suck jobs out of our country.
I know what a Republican is, and I know what a Republican is not, and I wasn't fooled in 2000 when George W. Bush came out of Texas and sucked all the wind out of the primaries and caucuses. I wasn't fooled by John McCain, either, because he left his wife for his newer, richer, younger wife, and real Republican men don't do that. I wound up voting for Harry Browne when I saw him speak at the Libertarian Party Convention on C-SPAN.
Years later, when George W. Bush denigrated the actual service of a man who went to Vietnam while he stayed in Texas and goofed off, and exploded our national debt, I still wasn't fooled. I wasn't fooled when Bush exploded the federal government's role in education via No Child Left Behind, and I wasn't fooled when he exploded Medicare with a prescription drug benefit. When Bush gave us the Patriot Act, lied us into war with Iraq, and led us into a world of "free speech zones," I wasn't fooled.
Two types of presidents allow attacks by terrorists on U.S. soil: Democrats and RINOs. Bill Clinton had the first WTC attack and Oklahoma City, and George W. Bush had 9/11. The only difference is that people blamed Clinton for his failures, and gave George W. Bush a pass.
Real Republicans deal with the problem before it becomes a problem. Ronald Reagan bombed Libya. He let the world know he meant business. When Grenada threatened U.S. freedom, we invaded that country and let the world know we wouldn't tolerate some podunk Caribbean nation getting all commie on us. Ronald Reagan cut taxes. He spent money on bombs and bullets and Star Wars, and cut spending on actual people, because that's what a real Republican does. Terrorists didn't come to the U.S. to strike our interests, they stayed in Berlin and bombed discotheques.
In 2008, when the Republican Party nominated John McCain, a man who had teamed up with Democrats to destroy free speech by denying issues groups the ability to mention a candidate's name up 60 days before an election, I knew they had gone completely RINO. It only got worse in 2012, when the Republican Party nominated a man who gave us Romneycare in Massachusetts, and raised fees on everything from blind people to ambulance companies in order to avoid being guilty of a "tax hike." Any fee that the government charges any citizen is a tax, Mittens.
The RINO rape of America was thus implemented, and as a result, Barack Obama became a two-term president. The fact that a president could get re-elected with rampant unemployment, a contracting economy, and banks manipulating interest rates, committing fraud, and laundering drug money should tell you everything you need to know about how the RINO rape of America worked out. Today, we're no better off than we were four years ago, and we're faced with an exploding national debt and a government that says it doesn't have money for White House tours while spending money on 2,700 tanks and two billion bullets.
I have to lay the blame for this squarely on the Republican Party. You can't slap a Republican sign on a pile of manure and expect people to see it as being substantively different from the pile of manure underneath the Democratic Party's sign. Poop is still poop, and people had already had enough poop rammed down their throats for four years prior to 2012.
The Romney campaign said it would eliminate tax deductions and loopholes, but it wouldn't say which tax deductions and loopholes it would eliminate. By the way, the elimination of deductions and loopholes is called a tax hike, and the problem is spending, which the Romney folks really didn't care to address in any real fashion either. The Romney campaign didn't say which government programs it would actually cut.
In point of fact, the entire message of the Romney campaign on its budgetary plan was about the same as Nancy Pelosi's take on health care reform: you have to pass it so you can out what's actually in it.
But Romney's record contained one flip-flop after another, as he was pro-gay rights before he was against gay marriage, and he supported gays in the military before he opposed the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. He was proud of Romneycare and thought it was a model for the nation before he insisted it was only a state program.
And now, all these months later, there are Romney supporters who are whining and butthurt on Twitter about his loss, and angry with anyone who didn't vote for him as a vote against Obama. Everyone who voted for another candidate voted against Obama. I want to be as clear about this as possible: Mitt Romney lost in 2012, and even if everyone who voted for a candidate other than Mitt Romney or Barack Obama had switched their votes, Mitt Romney would have still come up short in the popular vote. Even though Barack Obama finished with seven million fewer votes in 2012 than he finished with in 2008, he still beat Mitt Romney by over three million votes.
The number of votes for other candidates other than Romney or Obama totaled a mere 1.9 million.
Maybe Romney supporters need to face up to a little reality check, and realize that the President lost seven million votes and more people voted against him in 2012 overall than voted against him 2008, and Mitt Romney still could not win the election. Even if all of those voters had switched their vote to Romney, he would have still lost the election. There's no conceivable math you could do that would change the fact that Romney lost, and would still lose, under any number of other scenarios.
And why is that? Because he's a RINO, and people don't get excited about RINOs, because RINOs are just as bad as what they already have. Your problem isn't with the 1.9 million individuals who voted for someone other than Barack Obama and Mitt Romney; no, your problem ought to be with the Republican Party, whose leaders couldn't nominate a candidate who could have captured some of those seven million lost votes for Barack Obama from 2008 that would have garnered a different result.
Your problem is you. You signed on for a candidate that even you couldn't bring yourself to vote for; instead, you settled for yet another election where your vote was cast against someone you didn't like, and you have the Republican Party to thank for that and for the re-election of Barack Obama. Now, I haven't cursed to this point, but I'm going to now: I'm fucking sick and tired of all the butthurt pussies who thought Romney was going to win, and who are still blaming everyone but Romney and the Republican Party for the re-election of Barack Obama. Sit down and shut the fuck up, because we told you what the outcome would be if Romney was nominated, but you didn't want to fucking listen. You wanted to believe that people would still come out for a guy that didn't inspire them, didn't move them, and didn't represent their passionate commitment to the ideals that make this country great.
You wanted to believe that a guy who spit on the president who made them feel good about being Americans was someone they'd accept. I've criticized Ronald Reagan in the past, but I still think he's the best president of the past forty years, hands down. He made you feel good about being an American, and he inspired you to believe in yourself and your country, to entertain the idea that you could be whatever you wanted in this land of opportunity. He didn't apologize for opposing communism, and he stood for something. You could pin him down to a position, because he stuck to actual positions because he had actual convictions, regardless of whether they were right or fucking wrong.
When Mitt Romney ran for Senate against Teddy Kennedy, he said he didn't want to go back to that. He acted like he was fucking ashamed of it against a guy who drove his goddamned date off of a bridge and left her to die in a submerged car. Really? You're standing on a fucking debate stage with Ted Kennedy, and apologizing for Ronald Reagan?! Get the fuck out.
Now, you can get mad at me, you bunch of fucking pansies, because I know you like living in a fucking echo chamber where no one ever tells you the hard fucking truth about the choice you made and the result it generated. When your fucking kids have a lower standard of living, and they don't have the same goddamned opportunities that you did, you can look back on the past two elections and realize that you're to fucking blame. You are the problem, because Barack Obama beat both of the Republican candidates you supported and lined up behind so badly that even if everyone else had switched their vote to Republican, it wouldn't have made a lick of fucking difference. Obama would have still won the fucking election, because McCain and Romney didn't inspire anyone or convey that their real convictions and sincere beliefs aligned with liberty and reduced government.
Americans want a fucking choice, and they want a real Republican or libertarian to line up and tell them what's what and stick to their fucking guns. They want that shit. They've heard all the bullshit, and they've been courted by all the disingenuous fucks who say one thing and mean another, and they don't buy it anymore. If the Republican Party had stuck someone genuine up in front of the fucking convention, and gave them the fucking nomination, even if the American people disagreed with that person on some points, that person would have kicked Obama's ass. This country is starving for authenticity, especially when it comes to leaders.
The American people have been sold a bill of goods time and time again, only to find that the goods are rotten and useless upon delivery. They want someone to say something, anything, and actually fucking mean it, even if they might disagree with it on some level. They want to believe like they haven't been able to believe before, because belief is the one thing that moves men at their core. I remember what it was like to believe, because I was alive when Ronald Reagan ran this fucking country, and when he spoke people fucking believed it. My dad and his friends got all kinds of fired up over Reagan's speeches, over his persona, over his gravitas.
They fucking believed, and their lives were the better for it.
When you have something to believe in, you can go on and on and on through all the mud and the blood and shit of life, in the hopes that one day you'll realize that belief. And you know what? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, if you just keep going you'll wind up where you want to fucking be. If you don't have anything to believe in, you don't have anything to hope for, and if you don't have anything to hope for you don't have a reason to keep fucking trying.
That's what the Republican Party has taken from us: a reason to keep fucking trying. It's disgusting. They don't give a fuck about us, about this country, about what men need spiritually to renew their spirits and give their lives purpose as it relates to political leadership. All they give a fuck about is the status quo. It's stupid and short-sighted, because if they'd find authentic fucking people and put them up for election, they'd build an electoral majority for decades to come.
But they're pussies, and they don't see anything beyond the next two fucking years, and the two years after that, and the two years after that. They don't care to give us anything to be excited about, or anything to fucking anticipate that's good; instead, what they do is give us fear as the alternative. If you don't vote for us, it will only get worse. That's not fucking good enough. Even when we are voting for you, it's only getting fucking worse for most of us, so the efficacy of your message is fucking gone. We don't know that our hard work and determination is going to pay off. We don't know that we'll do better if we invest in ourselves and risk everything the form of loans to go back to school and get an education. The people who succeed in our society increasingly aren't hard workers or even smart people; rather, they're the fucking people who can afford to buy the government and get that government to take from the rest of us to cover their fucking stupid decisions.
What's my fucking motivation in that?
I have an initiative and drive from within in any situation, but a lot of people aren't like me. They need someone or something to believe in, something to lead them to realize the potential that is within themselves, and the Republican Party isn't fucking providing that right now. Their best orators are a bunch of fucking cocks who always blow the spotlight, like Bobby Jindal did during his response to the State of the Union or Marco Rubio with his fucking water and cottonmouth and his douchebag Wiz Khalifa reference.
Even I struggle to believe in this country when I see people committing fraud and laundering drug money and going unpunished for no reason other than their wealth and their connections with political elites. You can't sell me that system and expect me to invest in it wholeheartedly, when it so obviously exists to fuck people like me in the ass so that people in the top 10% can have more and their kids can inherit more fucking money than I can earn.
Don't fucking defend a market as being free when you're handing close to $30 trillion in bailouts to the banks, and $83 billion a year to banks as a subsidy. Don't fucking tell me the invisible hand is keeping those banks afloat when I know about goddamned Maiden Lane.
Don't fucking tell me it's politics, or business as usual, and expect me to just look the other way. Fuck no, this is economic treason. The people perpetuating these practices should be dragged from their offices and skinned alive in the streets. Don't fucking justify or split hairs over due process where an American citizen is concerned because he joined a group and spoke out in favor of that group's actions. The only crime you can try him for is exercising his free speech to an end that we both find odious, but this is fucking America, and what makes this country great is limited government and individual liberty to do things the government doesn't fucking like. It's not a fucking crime to have a shitty opinion, and it's not a reason to kill someone with a Hellfire missile.
If you aren't going to stand for the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, and you're just going to sit there can carve out exception after fucking exception in the name of pragmatism, then call yourself what you are: a Democrat, a liberal, a leftist, and a piece of total fucking shit who doesn't stand for anything except for the fact that you can shift what you stand for on the fly until it doesn't mean anything any more.
I have more in common with John Cusack than I do with any of you who support drone strikes abroad on a fucking mouthpiece, because at least he's asking where the fucking Democrats are. Here's a news flash, John: they're with their RINO friends for dinner at Michelle and Barack's place.
Don't give me any more of this butthurt bullshit about how people should have voted against Barack Obama by voting for Mitt Romney. You shitfire fucktards of the morning dew, people who voted for Gary Johnson were voting against President Obama. I can't help it that you're too invested in being a good little Republican soldier to question why the Republicans sent you into battle to back up a rube of a general, or that you're too fucking stupid to realize that the Republicans needs to start looking at fiscal conservative liberty voters as the only goddamned game in town, as opposed to the other way around. We are the only path back to salvation and relevance that these assholes have, and if they don't start giving us candidates that give us something to fucking believe in, they can chalk their entire existence as a party.
This country is getting raped because the Republican Party is so goddamned enamored of RINOs, even though the last two RINOs led them to the ash heap of electoral oblivion and helped one of the worst presidents we've ever had get elected. That's the fucking problem, not my vote for Gary Johnson. The problem is the fact that you aren't facing fucking reality about what the GOP has done for the past two presidential elections.
Stop being a bunch of little bitches, and start fucking manning up and owning the fact that no matter how you cut the vote totals, McCain and Romney could not have fucking won. Then ask yourself why, and come to the only appropriate conclusion: a vote for a RINO might as well be a vote for Barack Obama. Stop getting into situations where your prior vote makes you an apologist for a man who stood on a stage with a man who drowned his fucking date and felt the need to apologize for Ronald Reagan's record.
Stop the RINO rape of this country, and start insisting on an actual choice that you can believe in and find a common ground with. Stop being whiny little butthurt bitches, and consider this post your dose of man the fuck up.